20 Soulmate Quotes That Prove the Power of True Love

By | Food for thought, love, Quotes, romantic, soulmate

We often use the word soulmate to describe a special someone with whom we’ve deeply fallen in love and who also loves us back. But there’s definitely more to this type of connection and all the meanings that we attach to it, as this compilation of quotes will reveal to you.

To some of us, a soulmate is almost like a mythical creature because we can’t seem to find it. They are always present in various love stories and poems– everybody’s talking about them– but where are they and how do recognize them?

Others have been lucky enough to find their soulmate; they call it a divine intervention. And some are still searching, hoping that one day they’ll just show up and make us whole.

By the way, kissing frogs is not the recommended way to find one.

They say that when you meet your soulmate, you instinctively know. Your connection is so profound that words can’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling inside. It suddenly feels like you’ve been knowing that person for a lifetime.

Some say that a soulmate can be a best friend, not necessarily a romantic partner. And who knows? Maybe soulmates come in many different forms.

Here are 20 soulmate quotes filled with romance and emotion.

In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.

MAYA ANGELOU (more Maya Angelou quotes)

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other, to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

GEORGE ELIOT (more George Eliot quotes)

A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening.


A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace.


Soulmate is an overused term, but a true soul connection is very rare, and very real.


Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.


People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.


Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.


Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.


You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.


For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.


Have you ever felt really close to someone? So close that you can’t understand why you and the other person have two separate bodies, two separate skins?


A strong soul reaches anyplace, anytime; body fails to restrain it. And thus, perhaps soulmates are formed.


Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

PAULO COELHO (more Paulo Coelho quotes)

I love your feet because they have wandered over the earth and through the wind and water until they brought you to me.

PABLO NERUDA (more Pablo Neruda quotes)

A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not because that person is our unique complement, but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves.


The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind I was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.

RUMI (more Rumi quotes)

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.


Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.


To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.


How to Identify Your Relationship Blind Spots

By | dating, Food for thought, how-to guide, love, motivating, Relationship

If you feel like you’re stuck in cycle of being in the same type of relationship over and over, but with different people, you are likely to have some relationship blind spots. These repetitive patterns are sabotaging your ability to find happiness.

“Most of us have these relationship blind spots, aspects of our personalities that are totally obvious to everyone but us,” explains Christine Scott-Hudson MA MFT ATR, licensed psychotherapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, and owner of Create Your Life Studio in Santa Barbara, Ca.

Scott Hudson says denial is a popular defense mechanism because it is pretty effective. “We can actually ‘go blind’ to aspects of ourselves that are so unwelcome, so unwanted that to even try to integrate it with our view of ourselves would not be possible, and so we disown it and reject it, relegating it to the shadows.”

The better we can identify the blind spots we have when it comes to relationships, the clearer our view of the future will be.

Here are 4 ways to recognize your relationship blind spots:

1. Understand how blind spots hurt

Blind spots pop up any time we are not communicating our needs or we feel stuck in a relationship, says Patrick Davey Tully, MA, a psychotherapist in Los Angeles.

“The ‘rut’ is often due to not knowing what we want and blaming the other person or ourselves for this uncertainty,” says Tully. By exploring these awkward miscommunications, the blind spots can be discovered and alleviated.

“Any time you feel stuck in an argument or confused when talking with a partner, there’s often going to be more to the picture than you initially thought,” he adds.

2. Trust your intuition more

When things feel off, try to rally think about what your intuition is telling you and then try to be more objective.

“Allow yourself [to] notice what does not feel right,” says Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert.

After assessing what your think can be improved, turn to your partner and explain.


3. Take an inventory of the challenging issues

Make a list of what it is that you begin to notice— be as detailed as possible. As you write issues down, the situation often becomes clearer.

“For example, as a result of writing down your concerns for a few days, you might notice that your partner has a habit of breaking dates, being late, or not talking to you,” says Manly. “As a result of making notes about this, you might realize that you’re feeling disrespected, unseen, and angry.”

After identifying what needs improvement, talk with your partner openly and honestly about what you’ve noticed. “Avoid blame and strive for a non-judgmental attitude that is focused on creating a better relationship,” continues Manly.

4. Realize you may be the problem

The common denominator of struggling relationships could be you — your actions or your fear.

“As much as possible, turn this same lens on yourself—not with judgment, but with an eye toward noticing any habits you might have that are contributing to issues,” says Manly.  

Coming to grips with your role can help open your heart and mind to put you on a path toward a great relationship.

21 Quotes About Daughters That Will Touch Your Heart

By | family, Food for thought, heartwarming, love, Quotes

Having a daughter is undoubtedly a blessing, though raising a little girl with a high self-esteem in a world saturated with digitally altered images of perfect women can be a real challenge.

The responsibility of building a daughter’s self-confidence falls first on the parents’ shoulders. Of course, there are many things to take into consideration here, but we can start by complimenting them more on who they are and what they are great at. This way we’ll make sure that our daughters understand their true value without looking for validation in a weekly fashion magazine.

If your daughter is young, she will grow up and start rolling her eyes. But that’s okay — she’s a teenager trying to find her true identity and her inner voice. The great news is that the values you’ve instilled in her will help her make better decisions, even under peer influence.

With a little help, she’ll finally turn into a fine young lady that knows how to take care of herself. That’s your reward. And don’t worry. No matter how strong, independent, and mature she may be, a daughter still needs her parents.

Here are 21 quotes about daughters that will touch your heart:

A daughter is a treasure and a cause of sleeplessness.

Ben Sirach

Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.

Clementine Paddleford

Every day is Father’s Day to me when I’m with her: when I’ll be able to hold my daughter and see her grow and see her smile. That’s Father’s Day to me every day.

Saquon Barkley

When I come home, my daughter will run to the door and give me a big hug, and everything that’s happened that day just melts away.

Hugh Jackman

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters, there is something which there are no words to express.*

Joseph Addison

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.


A daughter is a bundle of firsts that excite and delight, giggles that come from deep inside and are always contagious, everything wonderful and precious and your love for her knows no bounds.

Barbara Cage

Absolutely, I don’t believe in rules. As I tell my daughter when she is mischievous, ‘Well-behaved women rarely make history.’

Nia Vardalos

I hope that my daughter grows up empowered and doesn’t define herself by the way she looks but by qualities that make her a intelligent, strong and responsible woman.

Isaiah Mustafa

I will let my daughter do whatever her heart wants. I will support her and guide her and give her all the knowledge that I have because I want her to succeed in whatever she loves.

The Miz

Who can describe the transports of a beam truly parental on beholding a daughter shoot up like some fair and modest flower, and acquire, day after day, fresh beauty and growing sweetness, so as to fill every eye with pleasure and every heart with admiration?

George Fordyce

To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.


Death has its revelations: the great sorrows which open the heart open the mind as well; light comes to us with our grief. As for me, I have faith; I believe in a future life. How could I do otherwise? My daughter was a soul; I saw this soul. I touched it, so to speak.

Victor Hugo

Our daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love.    

Margaret E. Sangster

We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s.

Kifah Shah

My daughter is the biggest gift; I’ve said it so many times and it sounds like a cliche, but the thing about being a parent is when you think you’ve cracked it, and you’re on top of your game, they change again and you have to catch up and adjust. I feel such a responsibility to instill good values in her, to be polite, to have discipline.

Geri Halliwell

Women are in a position now to voice their opinion… women are getting empowered. The more power they get, the more voice they get to shift certain things around. Now I have a daughter, I understand. When I didn’t have a daughter, I didn’t understand.

Snoop Dogg

I’ve come to understand that art is awesome and beautiful because it’s a reflection of life – but it’s just a reflection, and the real thing is my daughter.

Chance the Rapper

What’s important for my daughter to know is that…  if you are fortunate to have opportunity, it is your duty to make sure other people have those opportunities as well.

Kamala Harris

A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous… full of beauty and forever beautiful… loving and caring and truly amazing.

Deanna Beisser

The thing I’m the most proud of in my personal life is that my daughter actually thinks that I’m fabulous.

Brooke Shields

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Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

25 Happy Anniversary Quotes to Keep the Romance Alive

By | Food for thought, love, marriage, Quotes, Relationship

Couples that make it through 50 years of marriage do so by taking care of their relationship and celebrating it. Your anniversary is the perfect day to honor your commitment.

No matter if the two of you just got together one year ago or if you’ve been happily married for years, you should always take a little time to remember the first day you met, your first “I love you,” or your wedding day.

Look how far you’ve come together! If that’s not enough reason to celebrate, show some love, and look forward to the years to come, then what us?

Even if you choose to celebrate by exchanging gifts or by having a lovely dinner at your favorite restaurant, you can always hide a little note or an anniversary card somewhere, to remind your significant other how much they mean to you. It’s the sweet, little things that matter most.

We know words don’t always come easy when it comes to expressing your feelings. That’s why we’ve prepared some romantic quotes to share. Now you have something beautiful to say or write on that card. You’re welcome!

Here are 25 happy anniversary quotes to keep the romance alive:

You know you are in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. 

Dr. Seuss

In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.

Virginia Woolf

You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known and even that is an understatement.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 

Rita Rudner

You are my today and all of my tomorrows. 

Lee Christopher

If I know what love is, it is because of you. 

Herman Hesse

I love you – I am at rest with you – I have come home. 

Dorothy L. Sayers

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. 

A. A. Milne

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. 

Emily Bronte

In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine. 

Maya Angelou

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. 

Judy Garland

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.

Pablo Neruda

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be. 

Robert Browning

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.


I want you for always… days, years, eternities

Franz Schubert

Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.

Charles Dickens

With our love, we could save the world.

George Harrison

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else.

John Keats

I love you more than my own skin.

Frida Kahlo

I ask you to pass through life at my side – to be my second self, and best earthly companion

Charlotte Bronte

Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.


If I had a flower for every time I thought of you… I could walk through my garden forever.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

All that you are, all that I owe to you, justifies my love. 

Marquis de Lafayette

I will spend an eternity loving you, caring for you, respecting you, showing you every day that I hold you as high as the stars.

Steve Maraboli


So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.

Nicholas Sparks

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Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

Hugh Jackman’s Surprising Father’s Day Wish Shows Us What All Dads Really Want

By | actor, celebs, family, fathers, Food for thought, Hugh Jackman, Inspiring Stories, love

Handsome and humble, there’s a reason so many fans are starry-eyed over the one and only Hugh Jackman. This Australian-born actor, singer, and producer has gained a remarkable amount of praise from his vast variety of performances, from an 18-year stint as Wolverine as part of the X-Men series to his magical vocals in Les Miserables and The Greatest Showman. In his long film career, he’s also been a romantic comedy lead, capturing the hearts of people near and far.

With an estimated net worth of $150 million, Jackman’s talent has proved a successful endeavor — and we’re confident this 50-year-old superstar isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

He did, however, take time to chat with us while at an event for Mont Blanc in Houston this week. As their global ambassador, Jackman celebrated the launch of their new Starwalker Pen collection, inspired by an astronaut’s view of earth.

For Jackman, the children — Oscar and Ava — he shares with his wife of 23 years, Deborra-Lee Furness, are the center of his planet. In fact, it isn’t a luxury pen that he’s hoping for this Father’s Day. His wishes are much simpler and more universal.

Jackman’s Father Day wish list may surprise you:

He hopes for a handwritten card fro his son and daughter.

Though his son Oscar is 19 years old and daughter Ava is 13 years old, Jackman still appreciates seeing their scribbles. In fact, he confessed he’d be pretty disappointed if they forget this special gesture. “Certainly, I love a card from my kids. If they don’t get me a card, I’m upset,” he explained.

Another ask? A slideshow of photos, put together by his kids.

There’s nothing better than this to illustrate a special memory, trip or experience they’ve shared as a family. Though it seems simple enough — and Jackman notes, “an easy” gift — it means a lot to this proud father. While Jackman says he doesn’t tend to be over-the-top sentimental, his kids have a way of tugging at his heart strings.

Isn’t that a universal truth of parenting we can all relate to — celebrity or not? We think so. So if you’re still unsure of how to show your dad some love, Jackman’s given you a great blueprint.

More inspiring Hugh Jackman stories:

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Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

Separated During WWII, Their Love Lasted Until They Reunited 75 Years Later

By | Food for thought, love, Relationship, uplifting news

The year was 1944 and 24-year-old American soldier KT Robbins was stationed in Briey, in eastern France, waiting to be shipped to the Eastern Front. That’s where he met and fell in love with an 18-year-old French girl named Jeannine Ganaye.

Their romance was immediate but short-lived. Within a few months, Robbins and his regiment had to leave Jeannine’s village and head to the Eastern Front, and the two were separated. They wondered when, and if they’d ever see each other again.

“When he left in the truck, I cried, of course,” Jeannine recalled. She even practiced English in the hope of better communicating with Robbins if he returned from the Front.

Instead, Robbins was shipped back to America after the war. In the next 75 years, both Robbins and Jeannine did get married to other people, but neither ever forgot their first love. Robbins even carried a precious photo of Jeanine in his pocket to remember her by.

Eventually, Robbins came to France for the commemorative ceremonies marking the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. He showed it to French journalists working on a story on veterans in the United States, saying that he would like to meet her family — assuming that she had passed.

Instead, he was greeted by a surprise. Seventy-five years later, the journalists had found his first love — and Jeannine was alive!

KT Robbins and Jeannine Pierson

Robbins traveled to visit Jeannine, whose last name is now Pierson, in her retirement home.

“I always loved you. You never got out of my heart,” Robbins said to Pierson as he saw her again.

“He said he loves me. I understood that much,” Pierson said in French, laughing.

But married men can’t go looking for old flames! “You know, when you get married, after that, you can’t do it anymore,” said Robbins.

The pair are both now widowed and spent a few, precious hours together before Robbins left for Normandy.

They promised to meet again. “Jeannine, I love you, girl,” Robbins said with tears in his eyes. They held each other and exchanged sweet kisses as they said goodbye.

Their bond, which survived across an ocean, two families, and 75 years, proves the last power of love and memory. It’s never too late for first love.

More inspiring real love stories:

22 Honoré de Balzac Quotes on Life, Love, and Human Weakness

By | Food for thought, inspirational, life lessons, love, Quotes, wisdom

Honoré de Balzac (May 20, 1799—August 18, 1850) was a French author, generally considered to be one of the greatest novelists of all time.

After his birth, Balzac was sent to be raised by a wet-nurse, although his mother had the time and resources to nurse him. This fact along with his father’s distant attitude had a negative emotional impact on young Honore, so he sought refuge in reading everything he could get his hands on, even dictionaries.

Once his studies were completed, Balzac worked in a law office for several years, but soon realized that the profession didn’t suit him. He decided to become a full-time writer, much to his father’s disapproval.

Balzac’s lifework (excluding his theatrical plays and humorous tales), consists of a series of over ninety novels and short stories collected under the title La Comédie Humaine (“The Human Comedy”).

Balzac is regarded as one of the founders of realism in Europe and his contribution to literature is huge. Aside from producing a vast number of novels and short stories, Balzac helped to establish the traditional form of the novel.

Here are 22 Honore de Balzac quotes on life, love, and human weakness.

The more one judges, the less one loves.

It is always assumed by the empty-headed, who chatter about themselves for want of something better, that people who do not discuss their affairs openly must have something to hide.

Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.

Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught.

When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.

Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.

Women are always true, even in the midst of their greatest falsities, because they are always influenced by some natural feeling.

Every moment of happiness requires a great amount of ignorance.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

True love is eternal, infinite and always like itself. It’s always equal and pure. Without violent demonstrations: It is seen with white hairs and is always young at heart.

It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

Marriage must fight constantly against a monster which devours everything: routine.

Hatred is the vice of narrow souls; they feed it with all their littleness, and make it the pretext of base tyrannies.

How natural it is to destroy what we cannot possess, to deny what we do not understand, and to insult what we envy!

The first thing necessary to win the heart of a woman is opportunity.

Such is life. It is no cleaner than a kitchen; it reeks like a kitchen; and if you mean to cook your dinner, you must expect to soil your hands; the real art is in getting them clean again, and therein lies the whole morality of our epoch.

An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man’s entire existence.

Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true.

Passion is universal humanity. Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless.

There is no such thing as a great talent without great will power.

It is quite right what they say: the three most beautiful sights in the world are a ship in full sail, a galloping horse, and a woman dancing.

Our heart is a treasury; if you pour out all its wealth at once, you are bankrupt.

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Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

25 Beautiful Victor Hugo Quotes That Will Instantly Lift You Up

By | Food for thought, inspirational, life lessons, love, Quotes, uplifting, wisdom

Born on February 26, 1802, Victor Hugo is a celebrated French author, best known for his novels Notre-Dame de Paris and Les Misérables. A leading figure of the Romantic Movement, Hugo was also a poet and dramatist.

Although he obtained a law degree, Hugo was much more interested in writing. Encouraged by his mother to follow his passion, young Victor founded a review, the Conservateur Littéraire, in which he published his work and the work of his friends.

Hugo was only 20 years old when his first volume of poetry Odes et Poésies Diverses, established his reputation as a poet and earned him a royal pension.

After the Revolution of 1848, when Napoleon III came into power, Hugo was banished from his country as he did not share the same political views. He remained in exile for nearly 19 years -– this was the most productive period of his life, in which he wrote some of his best work (including Les Misérables).

Hugo’s writings showcase emotion, love, beauty, and his deep humanitarian beliefs. He was among the most important cultural figures of his time and continues to be one in the modern world.

Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.

To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

Life is the flower for which love is the honey.

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

There is something more terrible than a hell of suffering – a hell of boredom.

People do not lack strength; they lack will.

The future has several names. For the weak, it is impossible; for the fainthearted, it is unknown; but for the valiant, it is ideal.

Where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.

He who opens a school door, closes a prison.

There are thoughts which are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the posture of the body, the soul is on its knees.

The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we love.

Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings.

You who suffer because you love, love still more! To die of love, is to live by it. 

Not being heard is no reason for silence.

Laughter is sunshine, it chases winter from the human face.

Teach the ignorant as much as you can; society is culpable in not providing a free education for all and it must answer for the night which it produces. If the soul is left in darkness, sins will be committed.

It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.

A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.

Our mind is enriched by what we receive, our heart by what we give.

An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.

Those who do not weep, do not see.

To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark.

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Transformation doesn’t just happen. It takes a plan and a support system. This how-to guide is full of the top wisdom, tips, exercises, and success stories to inspire an old dream or create a new one.

Check out a teaser of what’s inside.

5 Reasons Why You Need to Get Over Serial Monogamy

By | Food for thought, long-term relationships, love, monogamy, Relationship, relationships, self-confidence, toxic

There’s an endless stream of love songs talking about how love gives you wings, makes you burst with happiness and act in ways you didn’t know you could. That’s because love stimulates dopamine and oxytocin production in the human brain, literally giving you a high, similar to drugs.

And it can be very easy to crave that high all the time. Not to mention the comfort and security that come with a long-term relationship. Turns out being addicted to love is an actual thing. But like everything in the world, too much of a good thing can quickly turn sour.

You end up in the same cycle of mistakes

Even if you don’t realize it, jumping from relationship to relationship without taking a moment for yourself can have long-lasting negative effects. Fresh off a breakup is not the time to seriously start dating someone new. Rushing into a new relationship doesn’t allow for time to process where exactly things went wrong in the previous relationship, and you can easily end up making the same mistakes again.

You don’t give yourself to get to know yourself (again)

It may be cliche to say, but change is the only constant. But if you’re constantly jumping from relationship to relationship, you’re not allowing for time for introspection, especially on unhealthy traits. After all, it’s easy to ignore the less than stellar parts of your personality where there’s constantly another person to focus on.

You don’t hold yourself accountable

We all have ugly parts on the inside and it’s important for long-term, sustainable happiness to be aware of them. Just as important is acknowledging all the ways you’ve grown, how priorities and goals have evolved. Not realizing how what you want and need from a significant other has evolved can be a source of deep unsatisfaction that undermines a relationship.

But if you’re not aware of how you yourself are contributing to your own unhappiness or frustration, you’ll end up blaming it all on your partner and give yourself an excuse to leave the relationship, with no lesson learned.

You fall in love with love, not the person you’re dating

If you’re mainly focused on not being single, it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of someone, rather the person themselves. That’s deeply unfair to the person you’re involved with, since you’re not with them for all the ways they’re special to you. You are with them to be in love, to be involved. Essentially, that makes them interchangeable and easily replaceable.

You’re quick to compromise to avoid single life

When you’re committed to not being single, it’s easy to gloss over the incompatibilities of your partner. Being different adds spice and excitement to a relationship, but if you’re so different that you have different goals and expectations from both your relationship and life, then something’s got to give.

If your main goal is to be with someone, you’ll soon find yourself molding yourself and your dreams around that person. Whatever you want takes second place and soon falls to the side and you start living life on their terms not your own and as a result you loose your own identity in the relationship.

Moreover you end being constantly defined by the person you’re with. That’s not only unhealthy on a personal development level, but socially risky as well. After all, if you always change to you mold yourself around your partner, you become unreliable to your friends and family and may soon find yourself without a social safety net.

4 Reasons Why Not Winning The Break-Up Can Be Good for You

By | breakups, dark side, Food for thought, forgiveness, growth, love, new beginnings, Relationship, self-care, social media


Most of us have been there. Things didn’t work out and two people went their separate ways. And as if the roller coaster of feelings that comes with a breakup wasn’t enough, the race to win the breakup kicks off. Who’s the first to go on a deluxe holiday? Who’s the first to grab brunch with mutual friends? Who’s the first to get a promotion? Who’s the first to start dating again?

But focusing on winning, or more truthfully, appearing to be winning the breakup is, in the end, a waste of emotional energy and time. Because if you’re simply checking off a list of one-ups on your ex, you’re not winning. You’re not even moving on. So forget about the game, even if you end up loosing. Especially if you end up loosing. It might be the best thing that ever happened to you.

You don’t get stuck

If you’re focused on showing your ex or your friends that you’ve already totally moved on, you risk living your life not according to your own terms and needs, but by comparison to what he’s doing and what your relationship would have looked like had you not broken up.

As a result, everything you do will originate from the what ifs of something from the past and you end up living in reaction to the past. But if you let go of what and how your ex is doing, and start living according to what you need, you’ll discover new passions and roads. You might even find that you’re a different person that you were with them or before them.

You discover the new you

Everyone we meet brings something new into our lives. Some of it is good and some of it is bad, but it all teaches us something — if we let it. And every time we learn something new, we change a little, often without even realizing it. That’s one of the reasons why it’s so important to take time for self-discovery after a breakup: to see all the little ways you changed.

Maybe before, you were really focused on your career, but now you realized you want more. Sure, you’re still committed to getting that promotion, but you want more from life than a cool career. You also want to travel or maybe you feel you’re ready for kids. Maybe that last fight before the breakup showed you how hurtful you can be or it taught you that you cannot forgive a breach of trust, even if it was a small one.

Whatever it is you learned, however it is you changed, you need to acknowledge it if you’re to successfully transitioning from one life phase — your former relationship — to another.

You take time to heal

Whether you were the one to end it or the one whose mistakes broke things, it’s important to take time for self-discovery and healing. Maybe your ex cheated or lied, maybe their self-confidence issues made them project that onto you. Or maybe you always prioritized work before your relationship or refused to apologize when did wrong. Maybe it was a mix of it all for both of you.

Being honest about how your past relationship really was and how you really acted and reacted is at the core of healing and truly moving on. Owning up to the mistakes you made and hurt you caused is as important as working through the pain or disappointment you are feeling. For example, your ex may have been unsupportive of your career, but that doesn’t mean you refusing to spend time with their family wasn’t hurtful either.

You don’t rush into something new

Who’s the first to start dating again is considered the Olympic Gold of winning a breakup. But rushing dating new people solely to one-up your ex is not only extremely selfish and dishonest towards your new partners, but an extremely bad idea for your own happiness, especially long-term.

On the one hand, you’re probably not dating these new people because you’re actually interested in them, but because this shows you moved on. So if you wouldn’t date them if you hadn’t just broken up, doesn’t that mean you’re actually using them? And nobody wants to feel like a means to an end.

On the other hand, if you rush into something new before you processed your breakup, you’re not avoiding your pain, you’re only postponing it. Because it will catch up with you. And the longer you ignore it, the harder it hits you. And if you don’t admit to your own mistakes, you’re only going to repeat them.

Rediscovering who you are, what you have to offer now and what you expect in return will allow you to find the person who is right for you when you truly are ready. And not because there’s a deadline. If that means your ex starts dating before you or you take longer to move on than any of your friends ever did, that’s alright. If you’re living the life you want and need, you’ve won. But not against your ex, but in your own life and self-growth.