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I Realized My Relationship With My Mother Was Actually Toxic And Learned to Parent Myself

By | Food for thought, goalcast originals, inspiring, mental health, self-development, stories

My mom prefers to act as though we have a great relationship. She pretends, she tells stories, then she covers up her lies with bigger lies. And back when I thought it was possible to move the dial on our relationship, her default move was to play the victim.

Outgrowing my childhood wounds

I shouldn’t have been surprised though, because after all, she was the self-proclaimed ‘best mom’ who did ‘everything for her kids.’

The truth, unfortunately, was far from it.

So, with her strong denial of my reality and her inability to let go of the selfishness, control and manipulative behavior that caused so much pain in the first place, healing the fallout from our relationship was a journey I walked alone.

Sometimes, the apple can fall far from its tree

Healing from my relationship with my mom meant being brutally honest about my childhood. As anyone who has a tough relationship with a parent will tell you, it’s not easy to admit. You almost feel ashamed that your story is different than the beautiful nuclear family that’s so readily advertised, so your first instinct is to hide it.

Shortly after my mom’s divorce, her best friend (and our aunt) came for a visit. She sat with me and asked how long I knew about my mom’s affair (which, to make things more complicated, was with my dad’s sister’s husband). I let her know that my mom told me about their relationship when I was about 5. She was baffled that an adult would share something so heavy with a child.

Granted her surprise, I skipped the details about how my mom not only blatantly continued her affair in front of my sibling and I, but she also used us to lie to our dad on her behalf, treat her lover like a father (while she vilified our dad), and spend the majority of our free-time with the two of them while they played house.

“Promise, to never be like your mom”

Even with the little my aunt did know, she still found it revolting enough to have me promise that I would never be like my mom.

I think about that day often. It was about 15 years ago, and I’ve come a heck of a long way. I’ve put in a lot of work to end the generational trauma of affairs, violence, chronic lying and shame induced manipulation tactics– and frankly, it’s the best gift I could have given myself.

So, no matter what your pain, how similar or how different it may be than mine, I wish the same healing for you.  

Learning to re-mother myself

With a mother that was entirely preoccupied with her affair and her societal image, and a father I watched dwindle into an alcoholic, then into a violent threat in the household, good parenting was hard to come by.  

But none of that really became apparent until I entered my first serious relationship. It was then that things started bubbling up. I was anxious. The feeling of someone walking away felt like being abandoned. My anger was always just one misunderstanding away and I had a complete inability to self-soothe. I felt like a child masquerading as an adult.

It was only when I started walking the path of self-development that I learned the vocabulary I needed to address the root causes of my issues, many stemming from my upbringing.

I learned about my attachment style and how it repeated itself in romantic relationships, I learned about co-dependency and the necessity of boundaries and I learned about how my anger was really just poorly veiled sadness.

But, I didn’t just wake up with that knowledge, I found them in the pages of books that changed my life. Here are a few of the books:

-Healing the Wounds of Childhood by Don St John, Ph.D.

-Unconditional Forgiveness by Mary Hayes Grieco

-Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

-Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix

-Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Through this work, I found validation, empowerment through information and the tools I needed to parent myself.

I also combined this with journaling and affirmations, a powerful combination of tools that allowed me to rewire my psychology and take small, daily steps towards betterment.

Positive change slowly but surely happened

It was only when I was well on this journey of understanding and resolving my earliest experiences that I started to find relationships that were of a higher quality.

Since then, many mentors have appeared in my life who later shared about their similar childhoods, I’ve stumbled upon podcasts and other nuggets of information that have helped me change in massive ways, and best of all, I’ve learned to love in a way that doesn’t hurt.

I guess it’s true what they say, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher will appear,’ and I believe that you being here and reading this is a cornerstone to your healing journey.

It will not be easy, but it will most definitely be worth the inner peace that you find on the other end.

In my journey, I’ve learned to own my story and integrate it into my life’s narrative in a way that strengthens my purpose. Now, when I see dynamics similar to my own, I can’t look away. So, here I am creating. I hope this helps.

Your friend,

Ivy Gill

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/02/19/healing-toxic-mother-daughter-relationship/

The Hidden Role Kobe Bryant Played in Richard Sherman’s Super Bowl Comeback

By | Food for thought, inspiring, Inspiring Celebrities, Motivation, stories

Richard Sherman is a fiery, at times controversial figure in the world of the American football but he there is something to be said about the 49ers’ cornerback’s inspirational tenacity.

As we dangerously approach the 54th Super Bowl, it is worth taking a look at Sherman’s comeback on the scene after invalidating Achilles injury in 2017. The truth is, the man’s strength extends beyond his prowesses on the field and we can learn much from his outlook on overcoming sometimes debilitating obstacles.

The recent passing of Kobe Bryant, the legendary basketball player, was especially hard on Sherman. The news found at him at what was supposed to be a happy, celebratory time. He had just arrived in Miami, where the Super Bowl is to take place, with the rest of his team and was sleeping when the 49ers’ general manager John Lynch broke the news to him.

But in the light of the upcoming, long awaited Super Bowl, Sherman still found a bittersweet strength in his mourning for Kobe, who was a friend and mentor to him.

A childhood in a rough, violent neighborhood

Sherman grew up in the midst of inner city poverty, in Compton, California. The streets were unpredictable, as an old neighbor told NBC Sports. “The Shermans never knew exactly what they would see outside their home at any hour of the day or night,” he said.

Richard’s father, Kevin Sherman, worked 27 years as a refuse collector truck operator. His job allowed him the time to be coaching sports to kids in the afternoons. Both him and his wife Beverly, never sheltered their kids from the realities of their environment.

Our kids saw all of [violence]. In return, those people we call friends are helping us teach our kids the ins and outs of what is not to be done out here. The streets have a different way of life, so we want to make sure you know both sides.

Kevin Sherman to NBC

Perhaps, his parents’ approach to his upbringing has allowed Richard to become the bold force that he is today. The uncertainty of life in such a neighborhood was something Richard refused to allow in his mindset.

“He had his own little world going on,” said Veretta Elmore, mother of Jason President, an old friend of Richard’s. He just knew what he wanted from the time he was young.”

Richard always wanted to be a professional athlete and despite the obstacles that faced inner city kids, he never lost track of his goal. At school, he was a high achiever. He knew he needed to score a scholarship, as his parents would not be able to afford paying for all of their three children.

He finished high school with a 4.2 GPA. And yes, he did more than beat the odds of inner city upbringing–he was granted an athletic scholarship to attend Stanford University where he pursued an undergraduate degree in communication. Evidently, Richard joined the Stanford Cardinals football team and played with them from 2006 to 2010.

Not long after, in 2011, he was drafted by the Seattle Seahawks. The rest is history.

How Kobe Bryant taught him the ‘Mamba Mentality’

In 2017, Richard’s season with the Seahawks was interrupted by a rupture of his right Achilles. It was the end of his time with the team and the beginning of a process of recovery that paved his comeback.

Surprisingly, a large part of his coming back is owed to Kobe Bryant. Richard had seen Kobe finish a game with the same injury.

I saw him do it. I saw him make two free throws with a torn Achilles. And once I tore mine, I knew I had to walk it off.

Richard Sherman to San Francisco Chronicles

Sherman even attributed his perseverance, at the time of the injury, to Kobe Bryant, who was known for his relentless drive to win and excel.

Richard grew up watching the Los Angeles Lakers and he was a huge fan of the team. As he watched the basketball games with his grandmother, he soon elected Kobe Bryant as his idol.

The first time he met the legendary Kobe Bryant was for a Nike photoshoot, after the Seahawks won Super Bowl XLVIII. They bonded at that time but Richard’s injury is what brought them closer.

Since Kobe had gone through the same injury, he was able to help out Richard throughout the rehabilitation process. He received a call from the Mamba himself.

When I first called to check on him I said, ‘Are you all right, I want to make sure you are not being a baby about it?’

Kobe Bryant to ESPN

Richard took Kobe’s advice to heart–after all it was the advice of a legend–and he admitted how helpful it was to ESPN.

He gave me some pointers and things I needed to do early on in the process to make sure that I expedited the healing process and I was more proactive than reactive. I think that was one of the big things.

Richard Sherman

Not only was the healing process successful, it represented the paving of Richard’s great comeback. His career with the Seahawks over, it was time for a new phase. He surprised everyone by negotiating a $39 million contract for himself as a free agent, only aided by his wife, with the San Francisco 49ers. He joined them in 2018. Most people frowned at this bold move.

Two years later, he is playing the Super Bowl.

Two different sports but the same spirit

Being his own agent and negotiating his own contract raised many eyebrows; there was skepticism surrounding his risky power move. Yet, Richard didn’t see it that way.

You talk about risk like I’m out there being reckless. If I decide to jump a route or bait a quarterback, it’s something I’ve studied, thought about and weighed the consequences long before doing it. Don’t call it risky and assume that just by being an athlete I got away with it. I trust what I know.

Richard Sherman to The Washington Post

The thing is, the man is both “street-wise and book smart, “savvy and stubborn” as Jerry Brewer, a columnist for The Washington Post who has been covering Sherman for years, affirmed. It is easy to see him as just any other athlete but as we know by now, the truth of his story is much, much different.

And this difference was recognized by no other than Kobe himself, who saw in Richard, the same fire and determination that had moved the legend throughout his career.

His mentality is what separates him. From being overlooked, from being kind of thought of as someone who won’t be able to maximize his potential, I think he uses that as fuel to drive him and propel him. I’m excited for him to come back and show the world what he’s got, man. It’s going to be awesome.

Kobe Bryant to ESPN

Yes, Sherman managed to overcome all the odds perceived to be against him. What Kobe saw in him manifested in real life and ended up being proving that these two friends had the same strong will in common. As Sherman said, “We’re different animals but the same beast.”

The ‘Mamba Mentality’ lives on

Needless to say that Kobe’s death, only a week before Super Bowl LIV was to take place was a blow for his friend, Richard. “He was a friend of mine,” Sherman said on Super Bowl Night. “He was a mentor. He meant a lot to this world. He made a positive impact, and there is nothing that I can say to really quantify his impact on myself and on others.”

On Instagram, Richard honored the late Kobe Bryant through a touching post, whom he considered a “genuine human being.”

However, he found one glimmer of light through the grief, inherited from Kobe’s friendship and the strength of his character.

I was kind of down, I was in the dumps, and then I just thought about what he would tell me. He would tell me, ‘Stop being a baby. And man up.’ And play it, and do it in his honor and win this game for him. And that’s what we’re going to try to do. I’m going to go out there and try to play some dominating ball, just like he wanted. The Mamba Mentality lives on.

Richard Sherman to ESPN

Whatever the outcome of the Super Bowl LIV, we can count on Richard Sherman bringing his full potential to the field. With his own determination, the same trait that has catapulted him into the unquestionable force that he is today, and the will to honor his late friend, it is impossible to doubt his upcoming performance.

While he may no longer be with us, Kobe’s impact on the world, whether friends or fans, is undeniable. He left an indelible trace on this earth and his legacy will continue to impact generations.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/richard-sherman-kobe-bryant-friendship/

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen Had to Fail at Marriage to Find True Love

By | Food for thought, love stories, marriage, profile, relationships, romantic

Ted Danson has had an unbelievable career in comedy. Despite the occasional miss, his roles on Cheers and The Good Place alone have solidified his status as a Hollywood legend. Similarly, his personal life has been a smash hit for the past 20-plus years. But that wasn’t always the case.

As Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen’s bumpy love story proves, sometimes you have to deal with your fair share of drama and heartbreak before being rewarded with unconditional love. 

Here’s what we can learn from Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen’s marriage:

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen have enjoyed over two decades of wedded bliss, but when the pair first met on the set of Pontiac Moon in 1993, the outlook was anything but promising. That’s because they had both sworn off love for good.

Steenburgen had gotten divorced in 1990 and Danson was having zero luck in the romance department. Not only was he twice divorced, but his second marriage ended in scandal and a historic $30 million settlement

Everyone changes…

Ted Danson’s first shot at love came at a young age. In 1970, at the age of 23, he married actress Randy Gosch whom he had met at Carnegie Mellon University. As their respective careers began taking off, however, they found themselves on different paths and separated in 1975. 

People change with every experience they have and don’t always remain compatible.

It’s a lesson Danson would soon learn for a second time. Unphased by his divorce, Danson said “I do” to producer Cassandra Coates just two years later. Sadly, a major health scare would soon drive a wedge between them. 

And tragedy can change your relationship

The year was 1979 and Coates was giving birth to their first child, Kate, when she suffered a stroke that paralyzed her left side. Recovery was slow and painful, but Danson remained by her side, even sleeping on the hospital room floor for the first three weeks. Unfortunately, the trauma soon took its toll. 

Speaking candidly about their experience, Coates told People in 1982:

For the first month, I did nothing but cry. I gave Ted permission to leave me. I thought I was going to be a wipe-out the rest of my life.

Cassandra Coates, People Magazine

As she noted, they were still “adjusting to the fact that we aren’t the same people we were before this happened.” 

Not only was their intimacy gone — “You don’t think about your sex life when you’re paralyzed,” she told the outlet — but as they tried to find their new “normal,” tensions grew.

As Danson admitted, “There was a huge rift between us — a massive lack of trust” accompanied by a major “sense of sacrifice” on his part.

Sometimes you have to lose everything to find joy 

Despite all of the challenges they faced, Danson and Coates remained a team for the next decade, but their foundation would crumble in the early ‘90s.

Danson was accused of having an affair with co-star Whoopi Goldberg on the set of 1993’s Made in America and the media just couldn’t get enough. That’s when the actor’s life began spiraling out of control. 

His marriage fell apart, he was hit with a history-making $30 million divorce settlement, Cheers was officially over, Made in America was a flop and, when all was said and done, his new relationship with Goldberg just couldn’t withstand the pressure. The couple called it quits after only 18 months of dating, shortly after an embarrassing comedy routine in which Danson dressed up in blackface to roast his girlfriend.

“I was a mess-and-a-half,” Danson told AARP Magazine of that time in his life.

I thought, I’m incapable of being in a relationship. But I was working on myself.

Ted Danson, AARP Magazine

And that’s when the unexpected happened. As he noted, it’s “ironic how life works in those moments. Once you throw your arms up and surrender, a lot of times things come your way.”

True love comes when you least expect it…  

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen
3/7/99 Los Angeles, CA. Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the 5th Annual Screen Actors Guild Award.

When Danson met Steenburgen on the set of Pontiac Moon in 1993, she was in a similar headspace to his. She was a newly single mother of two, having divorced Malcolm McDowell in 1990, and, like her co-star, she had all but given up on love.

“I announced to all my friends — not dramatically, but very seriously — that I was done with relationships,” she told Closer

That all changed one fateful day. The actors, who were tasked with playing a married couple, spent five hours shooting a canoe scene that would alter their lives forever. As Danson told the magazine, “We went out as friends and by the time we came back, we were in love.”

The timing of their encounter, which may have seemed odd at first, was actually perfect, as the pair had similar experiences to bond over.

As Danson explained, “We found each other when I was 45 and she was 40 — we had lived a bit.”

Both of us stared down some demons within ourselves, and it was lucky that we met then.

Ted Danson, Closer Weekly

They soon restored each other’s faith in love and were married in 1995.

True love gets stronger with age 

While Danson experienced his first three relationships crumble over time, with Steenburgen he learned a valuable lesson: True love gets stronger with age.

When faced with hardships, personal growth, and changing outlooks on life, true love doesn’t dissolve. Rather, it’s able to withstand anything you throw at it.

Which explains why the couple is as crazy in love today as they were when they first met. 

“I’m madly in love with Mary,” Danson proclaimed in 2017, gushing, “She’s a remarkable human being so I’m just incredibly blessed. It feels like heaven on Earth,” he continued. “If I were to die, I can say, I know what it’s like to be loved and to love.”

The feeling is mutual. “I’m ridiculously in love with him,” Steenburgen proclaimed in 2018. “I find him endlessly fascinating. He surprises me all the time and most of all he makes me laugh.” 

Ted and Mary’s biggest lesson:

It’s easy to have regrets or second-guess your choices in life, especially when the outcome isn’t the one you’d hoped for, but consider this: If you were to change even a single element of your past, your present might look very different.

This is a truth Danson is acutely aware of. As he told AARP Magazine, “If I corrected my mistakes — which are cringers — would I take them away if it were to alter anything about where I am now? No. Life is messy. The older I get, the more I realize it’s okay to be imperfect,” he noted. “Because you can still grow and make changes in your life.” 

Rather than pondering the what-ifs, use every experience, both good and bad, as an opportunity to learn. Treat failure as a chance to grow and better yourself and remember that your present is the result of everything that came before it, so there’s no time for regret. Instead, trust that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be or, at least, that you’re headed there.

More inspiring love stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/ted-danson-mary-steenburgen-marriage/

Shakira Fought to Reclaim Her Legacy From Her Ex-Boyfriend

By | Food for thought, inspiring, Inspiring Celebrities, stories, success stories

For over three decades we’ve been delighted by Shakira dancing and singing and wondering at how she manages to do both at the same time.

Considering the talent and the confidence the Colombian singer shows on stage, can anyone believe that someone would actually claim that they’re responsible for her success?

Well, her ex-boyfriend Antonio de la Rua seemed to think so.

But before getting into this story, let’s see what shaped Shakira as a person and as an artist, and why she’s a winner, with or without help from others.

Shakira is no stranger to tragedy

When Shakira was only two years old, her brother died in a motorcycle accident. Only a few years later, her father’s jewelry business went bankrupt. They lost everything they had.

Soon after that event, the girl was sent to live with her uncle as her parents were devastated and needed some time to come up with a solution to their problem. By the time she got back, everything was different — they no longer had a car and her father was forced to sell even their home furniture in order to pay his debts.

Shakira was too little to understand her parent’s business failure and the fact that they couldn’t afford anymore the nice things she was used to, infuriated her. So her father decided to teach her a few things about gratitude.

He took her to a park where families with children lived in the dirt, hungry and barefoot. She couldn’t believe her eyes, but the images she saw that day taught her a great deal about the value of things and why she should be grateful for what she still had.

I remember my father walking me by a park and watching the street children who lived there. They were my age and their faces didn’t look all that different from mine or my friends’, yet these children truly had nothing. 

It was in that moment that getting out of poverty and helping out others became her main goals for the future “She Wolf”.

She was the girl who used to sing like a goat

When Shakira was only eight years old she started writing and composing music. She also loved to dance and soon got the nickname “the belly-dancer girl”. Apparently everyone appreciated her dancing skills, but her voice, not so much.

In fact, her music teacher told her that she cannot sing and she wasn’t allowed to join the school choir. To top it off, her classmates told her that she sang like a goat.

Luckily, her father was there to encourage her and let her know that her voice is amazing. That’s how Shakira’s dream of becoming a singer was resuscitated after everyone around her had almost destroyed it. She embraced her unique voice and after years of hard work, she built an empire on it.

During ten years of her career, the singer collaborated with ex-boyfriend Antonio de la Rua, but pretty soon after they broke up, Shakira decided to also end the collaboration. Of course, de la Rua didn’t take the news very well and decided to sue her, claiming that he was the one responsible for Shakira’s entire success.

But a “She Wolf” knows her worth

According to de la Rua, he and the singer had an “oral agreement” that stated he would manage and promote her career. Once Shakira decided to cut him off, he sued her for $100 million — the amount he believed the star owed him for terminating their partnership.

De la Rua insisted that he created the “Shakira brand”, and while the singer admitted he was one of her numerous advisers, she doesn’t believe he is the one to thank for her success. After all, when they first met, Shakira had already established an international career.

Since there were no written agreements in existence, de la Rua didn’t get a penny as the Court dismissed all of his claims. Now, the star is clearly just as successful as she was while Antonio was “taking care” of her brand.

I have moved on in my life and could not be happier now. I hope this harassment will now come to an end.

Shakira to Eonline

Sharing success with those in need

Shakira still remembers how she felt when her father showed her the children living in the streets. She promised herself that in the future she would do anything in her power to help them.

In a letter published on Newsweek, Shakira reminisced on her days growing up surrounded by poverty.

Despite our situation, my parents wanted me to know that it could be far worse. At that moment, I promised myself that if I was ever able to help, I would.

Shakira to Newsweek

She kept her promise. Two years after she released her music album Pies Descalzos (Barefoot, 1995), she created a charitable foundation in Colombia that bears the same name. Along with her career progress, Shakira expanded her foundation to many countries all over the world.

Thousands of the poorest children out there are now receiving nutritious meals, quality education, counseling, and above all, a chance to pull themselves out of toxic environments. All of these, thanks to a little girl that once made a big promise, and did not forget about it.

Shakira has showed us that she has a big heart, but she is not one to mess with. She knows her worth, worked an entire life for her success and won’t let anyone claim ownership of her career, not even someone with whom she spent a decade with.

Inspiring and vibrant, Shakira has already rocked some of the biggest stages around the world. Now in a happy relationship with soccer player Gerard Piqué, with whom she shares two sons, she has long moved on from the shadow of her ex-boyfriend.

Today, on top of having been a performer at the FIFA World Cup in 2010, she has also added Super Bowl performer under her belt. She did not let bad events in her past change her or detract her from her goals, and that is something we can all learn from.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/shakira-exboyfriend-career/

How I Took The Imposter Out of Motherhood And Overcame My Doubts

By | Food for thought, goalcast originals, inspiring, parenting, stories

On a Monday afternoon, I sat on a small blue classroom chair, listening to how my eleven-year-old son couldn’t keep up with his peers; his curriculum was being modified back to the basics.

In fact, his teachers’ voices sounded like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon, but rather than being Charlie, I was a mother hoping the system would find a different way to help my son without tagging him as a boy with severe learning challenges. In retrospect, I was experiencing a case of the Motherhood Imposter Syndrome, and yes, it’s a real thing.

Imposter syndrome happens to all of us. Students get it all the time, when they feel like they are not as intelligent or capable as their peers. Or you might have felt it when you joined a new workplace and doubts about your actual skills and competence started creeping in.

The thing is, these feelings always arise when we are faced with a situation or people that makes us reconsider our methods, approaches or decisions. As a mother, this can arise often when we are faced with other mothers or, as my experience suggest, with criticism from other figures of expertise.

Perplexed at their comments about his lack of reading and writing skills at a grade five level, I took a deep breath, looked at all three teachers, and asked, “Can someone please tell me how is it that my son cannot read or write, but he can create and launch an ecommerce store, design merchandise, sell it, make a profit, and donate a portion of it to charity?”

I got crickets.

Then one of them explained that ecommerce was an easy skill to acquire because all he had to do was “click here and there”. They all nodded in unison. I was stunned by their response.

All my years as a mother failed to prepare me for this

I have been a mother for 11 years, a step-mother for 23. After spending most of my adult life in a motherly role, one would think I had diapers, homework, and temper tantrum management down to a science. In fact, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

You see, the more experience I have as a mother, the more I learn from my children. I’ve adopted the term “Conscious Parenting” as one where I follow the “flow” of motherhood, learn and listen to my children more, as they, too, are human beings. I listen and watch others, and make intuitive decisions.

As a mother, we have a 7th sense about our children, their safety, and their needs. Motherhood Imposter Syndrome need not be adopted because as mothers, when we tune in and listen, we know our child’s needs.

Listening to my instinct was my best bet

In the moment when my son’s skills as a budding online entrepreneur were completely discarded, I felt it in my core. I was overcome with a sense of inadequacy, of failure and guilt. Yes, I was hit with a wave of Motherhood Imposter Syndrome.

You see, I believed that my son should be celebrated for a business endeavor that only a minute percentage of the population would ever undertake. In this case, they were not looking at all of the life skills he was gaining, but only that he couldn’t complete a book report.

I don’t blame the teachers for that. I blame the system. You see, we’re bread to believe in the “natural order of things”: Send your kids to school so that they can get good grades, a solid education, and then a job.

When you veer away from conventional thought, you are questioned and can sometimes be ostracized by your family, peers, and professionals.

It is an integral part of motherhood

Over the years, I have learned to embrace feeling like an imposter as a mother, and have opened myself up to questioning everything my children might experience. In doing so, I feel like I am making the right decision as a parent, one that is for the highest good for my children. 

Here are several topics I’ve questioned on multiple occasions as a mom:

  • Breastmilk or formula or both.
  • Screens, screens, and more screens.
  • Babysitters, nannies, daycare.
  • Homeschool, public school, private school.
  • Is saying “no” detrimental to their psyche?
  • Allergies and did I transmit them? Is it my fault?
  • Will my kids grow up to be responsible adults even when they’re hanging off the ceiling in public?
  • Arguing in front of the kids.
  • Pet or no pet.
  • Discipline or lack there of.
  • How to deal with bullies.
  • Dealing with loss or illness of any kind.

The list goes on and on. But after a while, the feeling of being an imposter subsided. Yes, it can flare up when I am confronted to situations like my story above. Yet, it also comforts me to know that questioning myself about being a good mother is a sign that I actually care.

What does your motherhood imposter syndrome list look like?

With the overwhelm of societal dogma, cultural norms, and marketing, tuning in and listening to what we, as a mother, think is right for our children can be a challenging. It’s important to remember the unbreakable bond that you have with your child, and after having researched all of your options, go within and find your answers. You are more powerful than you think.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/motherhood-impostor-syndrome-experience/

Man Buys $6 Million Super Bowl Ad To Pay Back the Heroes Who Saved His Dog

By | everyday heroes, Food for thought, heartwarming, news, stories, uplifting news

Anyone who has lost a pet knows how hard it can be, so it’s easy to understand why when David MacNeil’s 7-year-old golden retriever, Scout, was given a month to live, he refused to accept it.

Scout collapsed suddenly in the summer of 2019. MacNeil rushed his beloved dog to the vet, where a tumor was found growing on Scout’s heart. After diagnosing Scout with an aggressive form of cancer, a veterinarian told MacNeil his dog had just one month to live, according to NBC Madison, Wisconsin affiliate WMTV.

There he was in this little room, standing in the corner… and he’s wagging his tail at me. I’m like, ‘I’m not putting that dog down. There’s just absolutely no way.

David MacNeil to WMTV

He refused to give up on his dog

Local vets told MacNeil there was no hope for Scout, but MacNeil refused to accept that fate for his furry friend.

Seeking help elsewhere, MacNeil took Scout, who is also his company WeatherTech’s unofficial mascot, to the University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine.

The vets there agreed that the dog had just a 1% chance of survival, but were determined to treat Scout anyway. They administered aggressive chemotherapy and radiation.

Throughout it all, vets say that Scout maintained his sweet, calm temperament, making them even more determined to restore Scout’s quality of life.

After just a month of treatment, they discovered that Scout’s tumor has shrunk by 78%– and today, it’s been nearly eradicated!

He found a way to give back

MacNeil was so grateful to the vets who saved his best friend that he decided to take out a $6 million ad during the Super Bowl to promote the resources that kept Scout alive. The 30-second spot, called “Lucky Dog,” opens with Scout running on the beach and tells the story of his survival.

The ad then advises people on how to donate to the veterinary school’s research program, helping the vets keep even more pets alive.

The research could save humans too

The dean of the school told WMTV that the ad will help all veterinary medicine and also cancer research that can also benefit humans.

“This is an amazing opportunity not only for the University of Wisconsin–Madison and the School of Veterinary Medicine, but for veterinary medicine worldwide,” said university dean Mark Markel.

He explained that the donations can also benefit cancer research that will benefit humans.

Research into animal cancers can teach doctors about human cancers too. “So much of what’s known globally today about how best to diagnose and treat devastating diseases such as cancer originated in veterinary medicine.”

For his part, MacNeil is so grateful to have Scout safe and sound that he wants to help others in turn:

“I hope it has a positive impact on cancer for animals and people, all over the world.”

Scout and MacNeil’s story reminds us that when we refuse to give up on hope and follow up through to the end, the results can help not just our nearest and dearest, but have a ripple affect throughout the world as well.

More stories like this:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/6-million-super-bowl-ad-thanks-vets-who-saved-dog/

Jennifer Lopez Didn’t Settle for Being Backup — and Neither Should You

By | Food for thought, inspiring, Inspiring Celebrities, Motivation, stories, success stories

What’s Jennifer Lopez’s secret to success? Hard work. We’ve seen this lady singing, dancing and acting for almost 30 years. She didn’t stop when she was overly criticized and she’s definitely not going to stop now.

We see so many entertainers come and go. In the entertainment industry, if you don’t bring on your best game and keep it at a high level as years go by, you’re doomed to fail. A lot of artists sparkled for a brief moment and then they just disappeared, like they never existed in the first place. One day we’re singing their song, and the next we don’t even remember the artist’s name.

Well, this is certainly not the case with Jennifer Lopez. She started where many others did, people told her to quit, but she’s striven harder than many to prove her worth, and now her efforts are highly rewarded. She went from backup dancer to a Super Bowl performer.

The beginning of a blossoming career

Some people just know what they want to do for a living, but the secret is to stick to your ambitions. Young Jennifer took up dancing and singing lessons ever since she was five years old. She grew up in the Bronx, sharing a bed with her two sisters and her family couldn’t afford to offer her too much.

Jennifer had to take her fate into her own hands.Against all obstacles, she commuted downtown to Manhattan on the 6 train to take dance lessons. She moved out of her family’s apartment, took a job at a law firm while she took dancing jobs at night.

You simply cannot picture J Lo standing in a corner and just singing. No matter how slow the rhythm is, she’ll still find a way to show us her dancing skills. And if the song doesn’t allow it, well… there’s no such thing for Lopez. She’s got the moves for any type of song.

Even though she is a complete artist, most people refer to her as a singer, but her breakthrough was actually as a dancer on the popular Fox comedy television series In Living Color. She was one of the “Fly Girls.”

There’s tape out there somewhere, for sure., J Lo told Jay Leno in 2011.

She was also a backup dancer for New Kids on the Block and Janet Jackson. Anybody would have found the opportunity to work with Janet Jackson a career highlight but it was not enough for Jennifer, who knew she deserved the centerstage.

She was supposed to do the entire tour with Janet Jackson, but instead, she decided to opt out because she knew she could do way better than that. Had she not taken that valiant decision, the world may never have known the Jennifer Lopez that we have today.

Acting and singing

Before she was releasing her own music, Jennifer Lopez portrayed the Latina superstar Selena in the classic biopic. The role was uniquely emotional since Selena had died only two years prior to the film. This musical lead became Lopez’s breakout role and paved her way to a long lasting music career. She seized every opportunity and leveled it up.

My business philosophy is that you have to work harder than everybody else. I always tell my kids and they’re like, ‘Yeah, we know you work hard.’ I’m like, ‘No, it’s not just that I work hard. I put in harder work than everybody else. I work harder and harder and harder and harder. When everybody is sleeping, I’m doing more.’ It’s just a relentless pursuit of creativity.

Jennifer Lopez to Variety

Her first music album, On the 6 (1999), was a massive success and we really don’t need the charts to prove it. Twenty years later, we still know all the lyrics of If you Had my Love or Waiting for Tonight, and we still dance like crazy on Let’s Get Loud. The album’s success allowed Lopez to evolve into an icon of pop culture in the years after its release.

Lopez also had to overcome discrimination and double standards on her way to stardom. Very early in my career I dealt with a lot of stuff like that,” she told Variety. “Not getting the passes that men get when they’re misbehaving or doing whatever.”

I was never someone to misbehave, but you’re late and you’re chastised in front of the whole crew and you’re the lead of the movie. The male lead is late and nobody says anything.

Jennifer Lopez to Variety

Despite Lopez didn’t stop to take a break — she constantly improved and reinvented herself showing us that age is just a number. The woman can sing, dance, act and she’s just as fiery as she was 20 years ago.

How the ‘Google Image Search’ was born

Remember the iconic green chiffon Versace dress Lopez wore to the 2000 Grammy Awards? Probably yes, since she recently wore it again at SNL looking just as gorgeous as she did 20 years ago.

Now, we don’t want to just mention a dress that Jennifer Lopez looked stunning in, since she’s had so many other iconic outfits. But back in 2000, the photograph of her wearing the dress was the look that launched a thousand Google searches. And that, was how Google Image Search was born.

At the time, it was the most popular search query we had ever seen. But we had no surefire way of getting users exactly what they wanted: J.­Lo wearing that dress. Google Image Search was born.

Google’s executive chairman, Eric Schmidt to GQ

Not even a tumultuous love life could stop her

While Jennifer is now in a beautiful relationship with Alex Rodriguez, a former professional baseball player and couldn’t be happier, her love life was not always picture perfect.

Back in 1997, Jennifer was married Ojani Noa, a relationship that eventually sent her into a wave of legal troubles. After their divorce, Noa threatened to release a book about their marriage, which would violate their confidentiality agreement. Noa’s actions were vindictive, as he had been fired from the restaurant Lopez owned. Eventually, her lawsuit to counter his actions was successful.

In 1999, she met the rapper Sean Combs, known as by his stage name P Diddy. His association with the rapper inadvertently put her in trouble as the couple was arrested in connection with a shooting that happened in Times Square. While Jennifer was eventually exonerated, having had no connection with the crime, their relationship did not last.

Between Sean Combs and her next, perhaps most memorable to the public, relationship with Ben Affleck, Jennifer was briefly married to a backup dancer named Cris Judd. The marriage did not even last a year before she moved on to the well-known Ben Affleck.

The two were revered as a super couple, being both extremely successful in their respective lanes–she in music, and Ben in the movie world. The word “Bennifer” was popularized and entered into the urban dictionary. But unfortunately, Bennifer was not meant to last and the highly publicized breakup represented Jlo’s first major heartbreak.

I lost my sense of self, questioned if I belonged in this business, thought maybe I did suck at everything. And my relationship self-destructed in front of the entire world. It was a two-year thing for me until I picked myself up again.

Jennifer to Vanity Fair.

She then married her close friend and singer Marc Anthony, with whom she had 2 twins. Once again, her marriage was not meant to last but this time, Jennifer was ready to handle the pressure. She went on to reinvent herself creatively once again, something she has never stopped doing since the inception of her career. This is why she has been a dominant figure in the world of show business

From music icon to judge on American Idol

The singer, who is also an incredible businesswoman, made the decision to become a judge on the incredibly popular show American Idol. She was inspired by every contestant and brought to tears by many of their life stories. But most importantly, she knew she had something to contribute to since music is such a big part of her life. Right now, she is the producer and judge of World of Dance.

Working for free?

It might come as a shock to you that a star like Jennifer Lopez would ever agree to work for free. Yet she did it, and not only once. She believed that taking some career risks might actually help her advance. For Hustlers, Lopez didn’t get paid on the front end for acting in and producing the movie. And now she was just nominated for best supporting female actor for her role in it.

Never accepting to be a backup is the key

If there is one thing we can learn from Jennifer Lopez’ incredible trajectory in her career, it is that one should never settle for the backup role.

You should invest in yourself, believe in your dream and know that hard work and ambition will always take you where you want to be one day. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.

Even if she’s already at the top, Jennifer Lopez never let her career get stale and she’s constantly pushing herself to be the best at whatever she does. From Janet Jackson’s backup dancer, Jennifer is now performing at the Super Bowl, proving that by never accepting second place, we can achieve our wildest dreams.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/31/jennifer-lopez-backup-dancer-music-icon/

Split Decisions: Is Your Relationship Really Over or Does It Just Need Work?

By | Food for thought, goalcast originals, inspiring, stories

Tears of grief caress my cheeks. I look at her. We’ve experienced a lot these past few months. The anger, the despair, the arguments and judgment, the blame and messiness…why can’t we get along? The tension is unbearable. I know today might be the last time I see her in this way, as more-than-friends.

I hold her hand and our eyes meet and my heart flutters and more tears arrive. “I’m sorry,” I say, “for everything.” I mean it. There are no specifics. No analysis. No regret. Just a humble sorry for the pain I’ve caused. “And I forgive you, for everything.” I mean this, too, my words a symbol of truth, a yearning for truce.

Fast forward a few hours, and we’re enjoying each other’s company, intimate, light, like the old-days that weren’t so long ago. Since then, things have felt lighter; the relationship has shifted as the clouds move and the bright blue sky, our love for each other, reveals itself.

It’s always difficult to know when a relationship is truly over, to distinguish clouds from sky. I’ve been through enough break-ups to know sometimes, we hold on too long and sometimes, we let go too soon. But how do we know? How do we know if it’s the end, or if the relationship needs more work?

It starts with authenticity

The quest for truth begins with ourselves. If we’re disconnected from our feelings, intuition, heart’s desire, it’s impossible to enter any relationship with clarity. Meeting honestly and openly with your partner is necessary in a healthy relationship. But that’s not the place to process our deeper desires; it’s a place to present what we’ve discovered alone.

In the example above, I knew the tension was a sign that things were not going well, that there was work to be done. There were times where I questioned whether to keep going. I doubted our compatibility. When it became clear we were reaching an ultimatum, I decided to make time to discover the truth.

I created a mini-retreat, to reconnect with myself and gain clarity. We’d given each other space, to allow pieces to fall into place without adding new memories into the mix. I journaled, I meditated, and I realized I love her, and I wanted to make things work. 

I realized most “tension” was from fear, from ego. Yes, there were boundaries to be set and agreements to be made. But I received the signal from my heart to continue. I realized I was holding on for a reason. It wasn’t time to let go.

Perfectionism and fearing tension

I’m a completely different person compared to five years ago. Now I’m able to acknowledge tension, fallouts, arguments, or not getting along aren’t necessarily indicators of a “failing” relationship.

This wasn’t the case in the past. High expectations, difficulty processing emotions, and trouble communicating always used to equate tension to a direct threat, impending doom.

Expectations in themselves can be the death of a relationship. They obscure the truth, convincing either or both people the relationship is over, when in reality there’s work to reduce pressure and align with reality. In one relationship I broke things off due to unrealistic expectations, only to wake up one morning, six months later, full of regret and a heavy heart.

If you’re experiencing a challenging time in your relationship, I recommend sitting down, heart-to-heart, and asking each other: what expectations do we have? It’s amazing how unspoken and even unconscious expectations influence the direct reality of all relationships. The key is understanding which expectations are healthy needs, and which are unrealistic.

In my current relationship, I acknowledged both. I let go of unrealistic expectations around what my partner could provide for me and re-directed my intention towards self-work. Then, I clarified my core needs and values, decided which were non-negotiable, and took this insight into our conversation.

Beginner’s mind and hitting the reset button

I said I was sorry and I offered forgiveness to clear energetic tension and to let go of past and future. “We need to bring beginner’s mind to this relationship,” I said, acknowledging the need for Shoshin, the Zen approach to spiritual practice. Shoshin is letting go of all expectations, all preconceptions, remaining open and curious to the present.

I’d had the realization I was holding on to our past, the bad and the good. I realized I was holding onto the future, the fears and fantasies, the mini-distractions from the present. This in itself contributed to energetic tension. Letting go spiritually eases the mind and body, too.

Letting go needed to happen because our “story” was intoxicating. Letting go of the good didn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen; it meant seeing it for what it was, to stop giving it power over the present. Believing we were “destined to be together” contributed to an idealistic view, ironically pulling us apart. 

Memories of conflict and wrongdoing created defensiveness, resentment, blame.

When considering the future of your relationship, I encourage you to bring beginner’s mind. Meet in that moment and attempt to let go of past or future moulding the truth of your reality. Avoid staying together because of shared memories and avoid breaking up because of fixation on past events or fantasies about how things should be.

What is work, anyway?

All worthwhile relationships deserve at least some effort to work things out. It’s a balancing act; there’s no need to carry on attempting to fix the unfixable, just as much as there’s no need to give up at the first hurdle. At the same time, it’s crucial both partners are on the same page. If one person is doing all the work, this is an indication of an imbalance.

What is work? Putting my coaching hat on, it’s the desire to take time to reflect, learn, grow — individually and collectively. It’s the willingness to be honest and open about shadow elements (such as blame and jealousy), to take full responsibility for our emotions and express needs and healthy expectations.

For me this included lots of meditation, journalling, coaching, and vulnerable expressions with my partner. At the same time my partner was following a similar process and I was seeking to understand what she was going through and what triggers caused tension in her and why.

Some couples may need to dedicate more time for intimacy, or give each other space, or focus on cultivating hobbies outside of the relationship. Work comes in all forms. What matters is the motivation of love and compassion and a willingness to create harmony and ease.

What if it’s over?

That doesn’t prevent the reality that most relationships don’t last a lifetime. Life’s too short to throw away what’s meaningful or to hold onto a relationship that is no longer aligned.

This is where truth returns even when it hurts. Deep down, only you know if it really is over. When it is, the best option is to end things rather than prolong or elongate a relationship that has reached its natural twilight.

Ultimately, love isn’t just a feeling. Love is action. Love is commitment. Love is discipline and determination and effort. Feeling love alone isn’t enough. But if the feeling is there, and love remains, and your heart yearns for your beloved, then take action, be bold, be courageous, and do what has to be done.

Love takes work. But it’s so, so worth it.

More helpful articles:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/30/relationship-over-or-need-work/

How Oprah’s Advice Led Serena Williams To Alexis Ohanian, Her Perfect Match

By | Food for thought, inspiring, Inspiring Celebrities, love stories, marriage, stories

I’ve always seen Serena Williams as an inimitable, dominating force in the world of tennis. After all, she’s won 23 major singles titles—more than any man or woman in the Open Era of the sport–four Olympic gold medals, and the Women’s Tennis Association ranked her world No. 1 in singles eight times. 

It’s no wonder that love and romance haven’t always come easy to her. In case you’ve never noticed, those among us with the brightest lights tend to wane in our power when paired off.

Which is all the more reason to have a look at how she came to meet her husband, internet entrepreneur and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian. My theory: when you find someone who also shines a light, they’re more apt to love and respect yours.

Serena Williams faced many obstacles

As anyone who pays attention knows, Serena Williams has faced consistent (and deeply problematic) body shaming throughout the years from those who feel her muscles and her power make her look masculine.

She’s addressed these upsetting comments many a time, ultimately choosing to stay empowered and ignore the haters, but not without difficulty. “It was hard for me,” she said to Harper’s Bazaar.

People would say I was born a guy, all because of my arms, or because I’m strong. I was different to Venus [her sister]: She was thin and tall and beautiful, and I am strong and muscular—and beautiful, but, you know, it was just totally different.

Serena Williams to Harper’s Bazaar

This is the sad truth in the way the world currently views women who deviate from the norm either in looks or in personality traits. Strong may be sexy, but if a woman gets too strong (or shines too bright), her femininity is in question.

Serena’s strength is both physical but also an integral part of her personality, which has made her a source of inspiration to many. And no, it does not make her any less of a woman.

Another reason to listen to Oprah

There was a time when Williams believed she would never have both a successful career and a relationship. Before she met Ohanian, Williams is known to have dated Common, Drake, Grigor Dimitrov, and Brett Ratner among others, which she told Allure were “mostly great relationships.”

Yet—apparently not the relationship, am I right?

It’s a good thing she found a wise, fairy godmother figure in Oprah. The latter gave her a valuable piece of relationship advice.

Oprah said, ‘Never let anyone dim your light. That really stuck with me. It always was something that I could see in some relationships—my light would be dimmer.

Serena is indeed one of those people whose light shines very bright–even Beyonce cast her for the video of her famous song, “Sorry,” which is coincidentally about being unapologetic about leaving an undeserving partner.

“Now I feel like I can shine really bright and still do everything that I want to do,” Serena said. This is the kind of relationship everyone should strive for.

How Serena met Alexis

Serena and Alexis first met in 2015 at the Rome Cavalieri hotel where they were both staying. Alexis was hung over and sat down at a table next to Williams and her friends, oblivious to the fact that this annoyed her.

After trying and failing to provoke him into sitting elsewhere, Serena told her future husband, “We just don’t want you sitting there. We’re going to use that table.”

Yet somehow, in the course of the conversation that followed, Alexis was invited to sit with them. It was only then that he realized who Williams was. The rest, as they say, is history. 

They got engaged in 2016, and welcomed their baby girl Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. in 2017. Fun fact: Williams, whose incredible list of accomplishments obviously precedes her, often says that her greatest achievement of all is being a mom. The couple got married later in 2017, and these days, Williams says she feels supported—both on and off the court.

The couple’s beautiful daughter, Olympia, reportedly has her mother’s arms, something Williams is happy about. “I knew I was having a girl, because when I was playing tennis in the [2017 Australia Open], I didn’t have one day of morning sickness, no symptoms. Australia is really hot, some days can be over 40 degrees [Celsius], which is insane, but she never complained. I said to Alexis, ‘This is a girl. Only a woman can be this strong.” 

They both break boundaries together

Alexis, the one man who has been confident enough not to dim our protagonist’s brilliant light, began campaigning for paternity leave after Williams was bedridden due to birth complications.

He had to seriously step up and take care of his new family for several months. “To get to gender equality,” he says, “It’s essential that men take as much parental leave as women.” Fittingly, Alexis, like his wife Serena, continues to make his mark by flouting traditional standards whenever the occasion calls for it.

Look for someone who doesn’t dim your light

“Alexis doesn’t dim my light,” Williams says. “He doesn’t try to dim my light. He puts me in the light, even if I don’t want to be. He pushes me to further points I never thought about.”

The moral of the story: take Oprah’s advice. To be fair, it’s probably advice that’s you must already know intuitively. Judge a partner based on how they make you feel. Look for people who don’t dim your light, or who even bolster and strengthen you more. These are the relationships that will ultimately help you to grow and thrive as an ever-evolving human being.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/29/serena-williams-husband-alexis-ohanian/

Woman Fired For Act of Kindness Now Has Companies Lining Up To Hire Her

By | everyday heroes, Food for thought, news, stories, uplifting

Sometimes, we try to do the right thing and it ends up causing us trouble, which causes us to question that good deed in the first place. Imagine helping out someone, just out of the goodness of your heart, and then getting fired for it!

That’s what happened to one woman in Portland, but her story took a surprising turn.

She wanted to help someone in need.

Emily James was fired from a U.S. Bank call center in Portland when she made the decision to help a struggling client on Christmas Eve.

Emily was a senior banker. On December 23, she received a call from a man named Eugenio, a bank customer whose paycheck from a new job had been placed on hold.

This meant that he had no means to access the money, which amounted to over $1000. It left him broke before Christmas and he could not afford to buy presents for his kids. Emily said she spent more than an hour trying to help Eugenio, but unfortunately to no avail.

Eugenio had tried to visit his Clackamas bank branch in the morning, which was Christmas Eve, and ask that bank manager to verify the fund. Apparently, they weren’t able to lift the hold.

She could not leave him stranded…

On Christmas Eve, Eugenio called her again on the U.S. Bank 800 number. He was at a gas station, unable to even fill his tank as he had insufficient funds.

“I said, ‘I wish I had just $20 bucks to get home,’ ” Eugenio recalled. “And she said ‘Wait, hold on.’”

Emily knew that Eugenio was just a few miles away so she told him to stay put and that she’d be there within 30 minutes with some gas money.

“I didn’t want her to do it,” he said. “But I’m not proud to the point that I’m going to refuse help.”

Emily said that she did get permission from her supervisor before she left, and drove to the gas station.

I handed him $20 in cash, said ‘Merry Christmas’ and went right back to work.

Emily James

Eugenio was incredibly touched by her willingness to help, as he recognized the precarious position that he may have put her in.

It was like, ‘Wow, she really cares,” he said. “Most supervisors, maybe they would have tried, but nobody would have ever come out because I was stranded. She had a big heart. She believed what I was saying.

…but her act of kindness got her in trouble

Emily went back to work and finished her shift. But a week later, on New Year’s Eve, she arrived at work only to find the regional manager of her branch waiting for her.

“She said, ‘We’re sorry, we cannot keep your employment,’” Emily said. The manager cited an “unauthorized interaction with a customer,” as the reason for her firing. This was her first time she ever got disciplined at her job. She has always been an exemplary worker and received many accolades for her good work.

According to Emily, the reasoning behind the decision was that “they were worried about [her] safety” as “he could have kidnapped [her]” or harmed her in some way. But as Emily affirmed, “I wouldn’t have left or even tried to ask if that was OK if I thought that this person would hurt me.”

For her, there was no reason not to help someone in need, especially considering the fact that it was Christmas’ Eve. “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t help someone if you had the ability to,” Emily said. She didn’t need to think twice.

It’s Christmas Eve, it’s already a rough time for people, and you’re going to leave someone stranded? I couldn’t in good conscience do that, knowing it was something I could fix, or at least get him home.

And yes, she would have helped Eugenio even if she had known that she would end up losing her job. “Had I known then that I was going to be let go, I would have just removed the hold on the check, because that absolutely would have gotten me fired,” Emily admitted.

Eugenio’s check did not clear until days after Christmas. “It was one of the saddest Christmases,” he said. “Promissory notes for Christmas gifts. And I can’t believe (Emily) lost her job over it. The only one who seemed to care was Emily, and she got fired for that.”

Companies heard of her story

While James originally hoped to get her job back, now she’s not sure she wants to go back to an environment that did not value or attempt to understand her act of kindness.

However, she’s so touched by all the support she has been getting.  “It made me cry, just the fact that people actually care,” she said. “I’ve had more people reach out and just have something kind to say in the last (few) days than in my whole life.”

Emily has had many job interviews with banks and other institutions, though she has not yet accepted any position. But as her story went viral, several companies have reached out to her on social media, looking to have her on their team.

Companies and owners are reaching out to Emily James over social media

Emily did not hesitate to help Eugenio because she knew it was the right thing to do, despite the unforeseen negative consequences of her action. Now, she finds herself in a better position than the one she was in, sought after by companies that actually value her kindness.

Her incredible story proves that no good deed goes unrewarded. While getting fired for helping out somebody could potentially detract people from doing the right thing, the ensuing events prove that kindness always manages to come back to you.

More inspiring stories:

https://www.goalcast.com/2020/01/29/woman-fired-for-helping-man/